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Brian, great post on an oft-discussed dilemma -- how to balance the "create a safe space" part of my work with the "let me smack you upside the head" part of my work.  I just had a situation like that today and I was so torn, asking myself, "do I handle this like YOU handle it, with a baseball bat; or do I hold my coaching stance?"  I held the space, and was glad I did.  By asking a powerful Q, I helped him realize how what he was doing was alienating one of his peers.  Sometimes the most direct form of coaching is simply holding up a mirror and asking, "do you see what I'm seeing?"  

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